The chicken is in the black suitcase

Bjørn can be chilly during the winter. We’re not that far from the Arctic Circle so that’s not really a surprise but Bjørnmoveien 3 (ie chez moi) has been particularly cold as my heat pump gave up the ghost. Not ideal in winter. I had first noticed that it was being slightly temperamental when I got back from NYC and so as well as using the wood burner I invested in a cheap and cheerful (but no doubt expensive to run) heater at the local equivalent of Curry’s. I didn’t shower myself in glory when I asked for a sausage to carry it home with (I confused the word for bag with sausage) but the chap was very polite and didn’t point out my glaring error. Sadly they had neither sausage or bag so I had lug it home under my arms. But on the plus side I had a warmer evening.

I eventually got in touch with the electric company and they explained that just to come and look at it would cost a fortune and if it was old it would be expensive to repair. But it so happened that a scheme was being run whereby they’d give you and install a new heat pump and they would just add the cost of it to your electricity bill and you’d pay it off over the coming years. This seemed a sensible option so I went ahead and organised that. It’s all part of the “I may not have done any painting in the new house but I have got a new roof, some new windows, a car charger and now a new heat pump so I shouldn’t feel too guilty” strategy. At least that’s what I tell myself. So the chap came round to have a look at the layout of the house. I was always very puzzled about the positioning of the old heat pump. It was on the staircase which meant that the stairs were always fabulously cozy but the actual living quarters? One can’t invite friends around and say just chosoe any stair you want to sit on while I go and get the coffee. He seemed to agree that it wasn’t the best place to have it so we settled on having it just above the “dining area” in the kitchen so I’d always be cosy when eating and hopefully heat would flow out into the sitting area. A crucial part of this heat pump deal that was pointed out early on was yes, they would give you a new heat pump, yes, they would install the new heat pump, but no, they would not actually plug the aforementioned new heat pump in. That bit I had to organise myself. He showed me where the plug should go but I would need to organise an electrician myself. And could I find anybody to do the job? No. I ended up in the ludicrous situation of literally shivering under a spanking new heat pump in the middle of winter. Fortunately Solveig heard my travails and called on a friend to ride to my rescue and all is now very cozy.

Bjørn is gradually becoming a thriving metropolis since I moved here. The Vet’s is a comparatively recent addition and we’ve now even got a hairdresser- of course it goes without saying that with each passing day this alas becomes a less relevant issue for me but hey ho… We even had a mobile cafe during the summer which was exciting. Dønna can be bit of a tourist hot spot in the summer and it can be amazing seeing how many cars are waiting to go home on the ferry on a Friday evening or such like so one had to admire the lady’s gumption in setting up where the cars queue.

In my last post, I related the story of the crushing of any acting dreams I may have had (fired from being the angel Gabriel) and you’d think that my acting career couldn’t sink any lower. But no, it plummeted new depths in January. Each year we put on a little play telling the story of the visit of the wise men to Herod and the baby Jesus. It goes without saying that I was never going to be trusted with a speaking role but was “allowed” to be the star which involved leading the wise men through the various “scenes”. Which only involved about 3 steps each time to be fair. And how, do you ask, can things get lower than that? My perfomance was obviously so stellar (see what I did there?) in Glein that when we got to Herøy the next day to repeat the performance I was given the star and just told to “stand there”. From Angel Gabriel to a non-moving guiding star in 4 performances. Very grim.

In 2026 I still regularly go for a swim and to the cinema and I like to think that I’m gradually having an effect on local life. My greatest contribution has been to ensure that there is now always milk and coffee on hand at the cantina in the Kulturhus. Almost everybody here drinks black coffee and I think they got tired of me asking for milk and sugar every time but a win is a win. Still upset about the lady checking (almost every week it sometimes seems) if it is an adult ticket I require for the pool ie are you a pensioner yet? Oh for the happy days when I lived under the delusion that I looked fabulous for my age and she was flattering me about how young I looked.

The numbers are still generally quite grim at the cinema (which is how I prefer it but I appreciate it’s not a great business plan) though I suspect that they make a lot from the kids films. When I went to see Greenland 2 (not recognised by the Oscars committee for some unfathomable reason) and I purchased the usual ticket, coffee and twix, the young lady said I could have the coffee free as I was the only person there. Indeed I had to switch the lights on myself when I went into the theatre!

In social news, for the first time, if memory serves, I actually hosted a Burns supper. Owen and Rebecca had very kindly broughty a couple of haggises back from Scotland for me and I felt it was about time I used them so I defrosted one, made the neeps and tatties, bought some cans of Irn Bru and a very pleasant evening was had. I even put together a Scottish music playlist as gentle background. Don’t have a whole lot of traditional Scottish music if I’m honest but do have a number of CDs of Haydn’s arrangements of Scottish Folk Songs which added a certain “ambience”.

Finrod is still well but has decided that snow isn’t really his thing so he doesn’t go out as much as he used to. We do have our well-rehearsed routine of he’ll go to the kitchen door and get up on his hind legs and look out in a plaintive way. I’ll wait awhile to confirm that he’s interested and will then go to aforementioned door. As I do this he runs away and hides under the table. I then open the door to let all the heat out (because it’s only -12° outside after all) and he will zig-zag round the chairs before deciding, nah, you’re alright and will potter off somewhere. And then we’ll go through it all again a wee while later. We’ve now come to an arrangement whereby if he shows an interest in going out I’ll move and stand by the door. If he remains in the vicinity I will open the door and count to 10 and if he’s not out within those 10 seconds, tough.

On occasion in January we could be found sitting on the sofa together - him on my knee and as we gazed at each other I would try and copy the sounds he was making. This was a concerted effort on my part to bond with him. My kids had given me “The Secret Language of Cats.” as a gift so thought it was high time I read it. I was looking forward to a lightly humorous read but no. I quote from the start of Chapter 9:

“ If we forget the articulatory - phonetic categories that Moelk introduced (see page 31) for a moment and try to approach cat sounds using auditory (ie careful listening) and acoustic ( analysis of acoustic patterns related to frequency, length [duration] and intensity [loudness or volume] evaluations, we can categorise the various sounds that cats can produce according to a phonetic system and try to compare them to the sound system of human languages such as English”.

For someone more used to things like “look, there’s Darth Vader” it was heavy going. Frankly the bits I understood were “meow” and “purr”. Nonetheless I am making more effort to talk to him in. And what do I get in return for my efforts? He has been known to yelp and run out the room as soon as I start to practice. Not good for morale. Still love him though. It’s always nice to know that when come back from work a rehearsal, a service or meeting, he will always be there to studiously ignore my shouted greeting from the front door.

My next concert in the complete Krebs keyboard music series is next week (Wednesday 25th February) and if you have nothing better to do, you should be able to watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/live/2cDbQIE0ClA?si=0wI76oGK1Nb_TYSS